Jennifer Barley

Your Own Personal Joy-Luck Club

I am on vacation today and wanted to repost one of my short and sweet posts of the past....

I hear people tell others all the time "you are so lucky" or "you lucked out".  Do you know that luck has little to do with anything?

It is all about synchronicity, baby!

Having intentions, aligning your actions, sending out the right kind of energy, leading with your heart, being in the now.

What you put out is what you get back.

Talk about a return on your investment.

Joy Luck Club - Ka-Ching! Bring it.

 

Waiting for The Other Shoe To Drop....

Bad things happen in threes. If I am too happy, then something bad will happen. I can't be this lucky. I'll never be happy like that again.

It is amazing the stories we tell ourselves and how those stories can change our energy.  Perhaps we are just spinning old wives tales, perhaps it is superstition, perhaps we just don't want to jinx anything.

But what if....you could consistently feel good and have things go well in your life all the time? What if you actually believed it?

How freeing would that be?

Where ever you put your energy expands.  If you are looking for the third bad thing -- well, you are going to find it. If you are thinking about the other shoe dropping, well you are going to be looking out for 'when' that will actually happen.

Our fear is that some thing -- such as happiness, joy, bliss, will be taken away from us.  It can't. Those qualities live within each of us regardless of anything external or anything that happens to us. It doesn't mean that life won't give us a wide spectrum of experiences -- but inner qualities can exist regardless of the circumstance.

Don't feel like you have to hoard your happiness -- feel it, expand it, share it, know that it has the potential to always be there.  You have to be open to that possibility. Live in a mentality of abundance -- not lack.

Allow your self to imagine the 'what if I could experience more joy' mentality.  You can.  You just have to be open to it.

What a Difference 15 Minutes Can Make....

Yesterday I committed to spending 15 minutes a day of 'me' time in the morning.  It makes perfect sense -- having coffee on my back deck overlooking the Boca Ciega bay is a perfect choice to gain clarity about a few things.

Here is the outcome of my 15 minutes...

• I made the commitment to begin going to the pool each morning at 8:00 am for water exercise. I love the water.  I have the styrofoam dumbbells for water resistance strength training.  I can choose to stay for 15 minutes up to an hour, depending on the day and the schedule. This is taking care of both my physical and mental health.
  
  
• I made the commitment to up my massage practice -- receiving them, not giving them -- from every three weeks to every other week. Truth is, I use to have huge hang-ups about other people touching me.  The root of the hang-ups was that I had so much self-judgment.  I  have really worked on that over the last 2 years and I am much more comfortable with the whole concept.  The massage is a time to work out the stress of my body, to pamper myself, to rewards myself and to take care of myself. Hitting the four quadrants of health: mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.
  
  
• I also bought a sketch book to do some inner creativity work for my self expression.  This touches on spiritual health!

Not bad for 15 minutes....I am having fun with this process. I am not putting pressure on myself to have the plan all laid out step-by-step, instead I am ebbing and flowing with my life and the way it is structured.

How are you connecting to the what you are committed to?  What kind of time are you dedicating to enhance your commitment?

That's What Friends are For....

Part one of my ideal health (still may change that name btw) exploration is really connecting to the thought of 'befriending and connecting to your genius".

When I think about establishing relationships, making new friends, or strengthening current relationships there are a lot of characteristics that come to mind that are needed to make it work:

• curiousity
• openess
• desire
• connection
• win-win approach
• sharing
• processing
• shared goals
• time
• effort
• dedication
• reflection

The stronger relationships in my life really take in to consideration all the above.  As I am connecting with my genius -- my higher health -- it will take the same characteristics to create that connection.  The most important quality at this point is time.  It is hard to connect with something if you don't put the time in to it.

So, I am commiting to spending 15 minutes each morning -- connecting to my genius when it comes to health. Through journaling, meditation, or creative exercises -- each day that 15 minutes will ground me to making the choice of living in to the best health I can.

What would it take for you to befriend your goal or to connect with your goal?

Make a commitment to that one item right now.  Let me know how it goes.

Your Highest Potential is Ready --- What Are You Waiting For?

Two weeks ago I was teaching a class in Tampa, FL and a student, Marilyn, gave a presentation that really caught my attention. I started thinking about things in ways that I hadn't before. I was beginning to feel inspired to take action. I am ready to try some of the techniques she talked about.

Essentially the topic was all about increasing your personal power, expanding your range of engagement and moving in to your highest potential....

Now, is full disclosure, I know all this.  I teach it, I believe it, I am it.  And still, I heard things in a different way. 

I want to apply some of these techniques to living my Highest Potential when it comes to my overall health --- which I am calling my Ideal Health. 

In Marilyn's hand out - she had some bullet points that I think will make great blog posts and create a great group discussion. So for the month of May, I am dedicating my postings to this topic.

I want you to play along -- it will be a great dose of self-coaching and deeper understanding of who you are, what is important to you, and it will be a great place to be held accountable. If you feel you want to up your commitment and results -- then this might be just for you.

So post your thoughts -- share your revelations and declare your goals. Consider it a free online course that will help you connect with your higher self.

So, here is the first bullet point to consider:

• Fully commit to befriending and connecting with your Genius (your higher self, your true potential, your higher coach, your Ideal Health etc.)

What are you trying to get mental clarity on?

In yesterday's blog I wrote about commitment and today I am going to expand on it.

Commitment to my highest health potential is about understanding:

• what is my definition of health as is pertains to this focus?
• why my health is important to me at this time?
• what does commitment look like?
• if I was to "befriend" my ideal health -- what would that look like?
• if I was connected to my ideal health -- what would that look like?
• what does physical health look like?
• what does mental health look like?
• what does spiritual health look like?
• what does emotional health look like?

 This isn't about a number on the scale -- this is about a feeling I want to have.  I want to feel healthy -- which is enough rest, good balance, food choices that make me feel optimal. This is about being hydrated, about participation with others, about what really feeds my spirit.

Time to go spend some time answering my questions -- I will share more tomorrow about my clearer understanding of ideal health.

What area of your life do you want to take to the next level?  Please post and share -- and together, we will spend the month of May understanding ourselves a bit better.

KickStart Your Commitment...

What are you really committed to?  I mean...really committed to? What do you put your heart and soul into?  What do you do, even when you don't want to do it? What does commitment even mean to you?

I hear people all the time say things such as: I want to eat healthy. I wish I was more discipline about working out.  I would love to drop a few pounds.

The question I have is: how committed are you to the cause?  We all have an interest in changing our lives....but our lives can ony change when we are committed to consistancy.

What would it take for you to be more committed to your dreams and desires?  How would you need to show up differently?  What are you willing to do?

Let go of the....Some day....tomorrow...I hope.

I have always loved the saying -- if you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got.

How committed are you to changing your outcome?

I would love to hear from you your number one goal and how you are staying committed to it. Please post under comments....

I am committed to responding to each post! 

KickStart the Feeling That I Can Do Anything...

For about a 12 month period I had a boatload of major things happening at the same time. Now...while I am a positive person -- there were times that I was overwhelmed, cranky, tired and wanted it all to go away.  It felt like things kept getting piled on the "must take care of this now" list. It was A LOT.

So there I was up to my eyeballs in a tax audit, three eye surgeries, a divorce, selling the house, owning my own business, a move across country, traveling everywhere and somewhere in the middle of it all -- I got a notice that my Trademark application with the government needed a more information and an extension filed or else I would lose the money I invested and the potential trademark. It was too much.  

I had to make the decision to prioritize -- and the Trademarking of "The KickStart Coach" would go on the back burner.

I remember saying -- 'if I ever get that TradeMark processed and approved -- that will be proof that I can do anything I put my mind to. It would forever be a ray of hope that EVERYTHING is possible.'

So, after being released from my audit, having a healthy eye, the house sold, my things packed and arriving in Florida last July -- I came across the paperwork that stated I  had just 7 days left to get that extension filed and make that TradeMark happen....

ta-da....

Yes, everything is possible.

Sweet!

Living Life By Choosing a Woo to the 'Who'

Every day I feel like I am living a bit more authentically -- the true me.  I am recognizing patterns that don't serve me as well as the patterns that do serve me well.  I am letting go of putting pressure on myself to do more, be more, and show the world more.

I am having fun finding out who I am.  Exploring the various sides of me.  Understanding myself more and more.  Questioning thoughts. Thinking about answers.  Continuing to shake up my 'who'.

I have found that I do really well when I take the time to slow down.  I think back on my prior "who" - always rushing from one thing to the next, working all the time, my mind constantly racing and not slowing down -- only to be exhausted at the end of the day. Going a thousand miles a minute.

My new 'who' is about ease.  Not resisting. Not defending. Not going against the flow. Approaching my day with ease.  Enhancing my work by leveraging the things that I am doing. Being grateful for the ease that has been created in my life.

I can still get wound for sound --- and it is with ease that I remind myself to breathe.

I am working on eliminating my "shoulds" in life and working on the "want to". I am working on straightforward conversations.  I am working on not changing who I want to be.

I am feeling a true woo-who!

Be Brave

My friend Kathi sent me this graphic -- saying it had my name written all over it.  The words were me. The sentiment was me. I just excuded the message.

I love the fact that she created the connection of the words to my inner spirit.

I am quite the adventurer -- that is for sure.  I do embrace change and choice and risk -- although it can be difficult, uncertain and scarey.

Just looking at my life since around 2001 when I left the high tech industry to be a waitress and find myself -- well, it has been all about change.  One big adventure.

Turns out that I don't let moss grow under my feet.  I just have sand between my toes.

Go out into the world and be brave. Your spirit is waiting.

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Needless to say -- your comfort zone can feel, well, comfortable.

It is the familiar.  It is the known. It is the predictable. It is the status quo. 

Well....get out of it. Now.

You don't want to miss out on the magic, do you?

Plugging the Energy Drain

The button that needs sewing on....the drawer than needs to be reorganized... the tax documents that need to be gathered.

Those are all the things that drain your energy.  The items in your life that "some day you will get to them." Every time you see the button, you search for the tape and the month of April draws closer -- your energy lowers.  You have to think about these issues, beat yourself up for not getting them off to the do-to list, and swear that you will get to it soon. All wasted energy.

Make a list of all the thing that you are tolerating...the small, the big, the seemingly impossible.  List it all, the conversations you need to have, the items that need to be sorted, the light bulb that hasn't been changed.

Then pick a day -- and do all the things that can be done in the day.  Notice how your energy changes.  The accomplishment of course -- but all the conservation of all that mental energy that now can focus on other things.  For the larger items, give yourself a deadline on when those items can be resolved.

When you clear the negative energy -- you will have the energy to support new ideas, new projects, new joys.  Your head space will thank you for clearing that particular clutter.

So, what are you tolerating?

You Say It's My Birthday....

wow -- I feel young! 45 years young to be exact.

Last year on this day, I didn't feel so young. I felt worn out to tell you the truth.  If I remember it right, I was in a sad, funkadelic space, filled with drama - although I spent the day alone. To read more -- here is a link to last birthday's post.

The one thing that stands out to me is that I did go kayaking last year on my birthday and I made a vow right then and there that I would live in a home where I could kayak out the backyard.

Fast forward 365 days - and I am doing exactly that. Actually you don't have to fast forward the whole 365 days -- in just about 6 months I landed where the Boca Ciega Bay is my backyard.  And in just 34 days, the Boca Ciega Bay will become my permanent back yard in my new home. (actual photo...)

On my quest of peace, love and clarity -- today clarity is clearly standing out. Having clarity about what I want, what I don't want.  Having clarity about how my attitudes, beliefs and worldviews create and recreate the world I live in.  Having clarity to dream big, think different and to shake things up.

I am in such a different place than I could have ever imagined....wait, actually, I did imagine this...ALL of this -- right down to the paddle of my boat.

Happy birthday to me.  May my 45th year be filled with more peace, love and clarity.

Your Own Personal Joy Luck Club

I hear people tell others all the time "you are so lucky" or "you lucked out".  Do you know that luck has little to do with anything?

It is all about synchronicity, baby!

Having intentions, aligning your actions, sending out the right kind of energy, leading with your heart, being in the now.

What you put out is what you get back.

Talk about a return on your investment.

Joy Luck Club - Ka-Ching! Bring it.

Expectations Verses Expectancy

One of my absolute favorite aunts, Aunt Ruth, sent me an email after my last blog post introducing the concept of exploring expectations verses expectancy.

It got me thinking deeper about expectations, as the word has been floating around my brain for awhile now.  Trying to strike the balance of letting go of my expectations but not to let go of my involvement, or responsibility, or my part in the creation of what is happening.  

There was always a part of me that struggled with if I let go of expectations -- well, it felt like I was surrendering to everything...almost flat-lining.  Hard for me to explain -- hence the struggle.

My Aunt shared her thoughts stating, for her, expectation is limiting,  full of boxed in thoughts and feelings. Expectancy is what you are all about - new revelations, released emotions, feelings, hurts etc. Expectancy is the possibility that there are wonderful things around the corner. 

Her words helped me with some clarity -- for me, expectations are about the outcome where expectancy is about the process. Expectations are all about control.  Expectations is about pre-thinking what is going to happen, what should happen, and what will happen.  

Expectancy is about being a part of the process that feels really light -- allowing us to take who we are in that moment to our experiences. Our 'who' is constantly changing.  I am a different person today that I was when I went to bed last night.  I am a different person from who I was a month ago.  I am a different person from who I was 5 years ago.

So again your attitudes, beliefs, and world view will determine if you approach situations with an expectancy of delight, excitement, adventure, or with an expectancy of negativity, judgment, or drama.

Being attached to an outcome is where disappointment comes in, where entitlement is created and where we only focus on the result.

So, thank you Aunt Ruth -- for sharing your thoughts.  I look forward to your next email with great, loving expectancy!

How You Show Up For Anything -- Is How You Show Up For Everything....

How we show up for one thing - -resembles how we show up for everything.

We carry our beliefs and attitudes everywhere with us.  If we are looking for trouble, we find trouble.  If we expect a conversation to go bad, it usually goes bad. If we enter with an air of exploration....we explore.  If we are focused on incompetence -- we find incompetence.

Basically, we are just trying to prove our selves right.  By doing so, we get the ego boost to say: a-ha!  I was right...this is so lame...so amazing...so beneath me.   Fill in the blank.

What we expect to get out of a situation usually comes true.  The question is -- why do you have so many expectations? How do you carry those expectations in to various situations? How does having expecations actually cause disappointment?

If you are constantly disappointed, how are your showing up?  If you are skeptical, do you focus on the things that aren't measuring up?

It is so easy to default to focusing on the negative...why things won't work, how you wish they were different, how other people annoy you...the list can go on.

What if you showed up with no expectations and just experienced the experience.  No judging if it is good or bad.  No ranking on where it falls.  I mean, really letting go of expectations.

Where is one area you could let go of expectations --- and truly be an observer without judgment? It could change how you show up for everything....

Let's get the conversation started -- share the one situation you are willing to have a different outcome.

PS: Some of you have written me to ask if I would post the audio recording of my free Preview Call on 7 Enlightened Tips on How to Lose the Thoughts that Weight you Down....click here for link.

PPS: For those still wanting to sign up for the six week teleseries: Lose The Thoughts That Weigh You Down - click here for more information - class starts January 17th!